I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize