I'm drive I can fine osifer
You smell like a Billy Joel song
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you will always have a special place in my vag
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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