at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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