'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize