3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
