She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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