She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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