What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
