Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
