He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize