I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
