i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
