It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
3pm strippers are depressing
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
