Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
