they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
