glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
