ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
