So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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