So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
