so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
