she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
