it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
