4 words: hood of his car
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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