is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
