So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
