Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
