so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
