I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
