Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So squirting runs in the family.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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