If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Sober January is a disaster.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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