so that wasnt chicken after all
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
