I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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