is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
