Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
