what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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