well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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