But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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