so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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