Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
