so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
