haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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