i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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