There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
