Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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