i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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