I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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