then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He better not be in your backpack
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
