the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
