Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
