i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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