You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
