I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
