You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
