We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk is not a location!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
