i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
