i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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