Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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