he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
