my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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