question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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