do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
