none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
