HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
