I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
