i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize