Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
