she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
