May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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