arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
