i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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