I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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