Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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