So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
