i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
