I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
