nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
