Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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