Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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