you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
