With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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