I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
