Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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