Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize